The Bison Personality

Portrait of a Bison Personality

Scientific Name

Bison bison

Collective Term

A convention of bison

Bison are pragmatic, strong shouldered individuals who excel in the art of compromise. They are resourceful and dedicated to the pursuit of success.

As is typical of a herbivorous personality, the bison is a resourceful, determined individual with a strongly conservative bent. Not one to rock the boat, it avoids drawing attention to itself while it quietly goes about it business.

Bison are Smarter than They Look

The stoic bison is deceptively intelligent, although most of the time its mental processing is done behind the scenes. Bison allow situations to unfold as they must without feeling the need to change the flow of events, all the while watching thoughtfully behind an implacable exterior.

As a migratory animal, bison love to travel and do so in large, organized groups. They are often seen in popular vacation spots, herding around local landmarks before stampeding off to the next predictable tourist trap.

Bison Personalities are not Overburdened by Beauty

No one would ever accuse bison of being handsome; they have plain, placid faces that are difficult to remember, and their staid temperaments complement their looks. Although their large frames can handle any physical confrontation, they would never go looking for trouble.

Conservative and fearful of change, bison steer clear of radical ideas that might engender a shift in the social order. Righteous indignation is a hallmark of a bison temperament, and they are determined to maintain their status in the workplace hierarchy.

By keeping a low profile, the bison's reputation as a methodical plodder often elicits unkind remarks from jealous associates. As a consequence of this backbiting, their implacable expressions sometimes mask a deep seated inferiority complex.

Bison in the Wild

Some fifty million bison once roamed the North American plains, but as recently as 1890 fewer than six hundred individuals remained. The near extinction of the bison is attributable to their wholesale slaughter by European settlers satisfying the demand for meat and hides. The disappearance of the bison also triggered numerous Indian wars as the food supply of the Native Americans dwindled. Unlike other bovine species, the bison social structure does not support a harem master who monopolizes sexual activities. Although there is some fighting among males for mates, peaceful coexistence is the order of the day.

Famous Bison Personalities

Al Gore

So Al Gore was known as a boring plodder, so boring in fact that by his own admission, his Secret Service code was "Al Gore". But no one doubts his ability to shoulder huge responsibility.

Gerald Ford

Gerald Ford was hardly an exciting President -- filling the gap between a disgraced Nixon and Jimmy Carter. But he did the job solidly and without complaint - in typical bison style.

Careers & Hobbies

  • Accountant

  • Politician

  • Lawyer

  • Manager

  • Banker

  • Judge

  • Long walks

  • Chess

  • Golf

Best Mates for a Bison

The bison's sex-life can be described in much the same way. An earnest lover with limited charms; its sexual exploits are relegated to carefully planned encounters in traditional places. But, if it's lucky enough to find a mate that can trigger its animal passions, its nostrils will flare, its eyes will narrow, and the fur will fly.

Still, no one should expect the bison to be doing its thing in an elevator or a china shop, for it's a fundamentally conservative individual who feels uneasy when bending the rules or displaying public affection.

Bison are drawn to the equally conservative sheep and cottontail personalities who understand their need to maintain a low profile. These unions are stable and long lasting although they lack the spark to light the bison's fire. More exciting prospects are with deer, rhino, and warthog personalities, for even though these relationships have their pitfalls, the bison finds itself happily challenged.

A bison is a wonderful provider and its family never has to worry about life's' essentials or being able to afford the obligatory annual holidays. And it controls the purse strings masterfully -- not that it's stingy though -- for friends actually find the bison to be extraordinary generous and altruistic.

Friendship

Nicely balanced

Love

Together forever

Sex

Harmonious

Friendship

Roaming buddies

Love

A rich and satisfying marriage

Sex

Do it in the outdoors

Friendship

Dinner for two

Love

Sensible and stable

Sex

Well matched

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