The Crocodile Personality

Portrait of a Crocodile Personality

Scientific Name

Crocodylus niloticus

Collective Term

A treachery of crocodiles

Crocodiles are lean, leathery individuals with air of wariness that comes from living on the edge. Their skin is often decorated with scars or tattoos. But crocodiles are not always easy to identify, because their survival strategy is based on misdirection and camouflage. As natural predators crocs attack without subtlety or intelligence, using any weapon at their disposal.

Crocodiles prefer docile prey, as the more unwary their victims the less likely they are to struggle. They think nothing of using dirty tricks to gain an advantage and have little sense of honor.

Be Cautious Around your Crocodile Friends

Crocs have little conscience, compassion, or guiding philosophy save that of survival and self-interest. Beware the crocodile's tears, because although they may run freely they do not run deep.

Living on the fringes of society, crocs avoid mainstream locales and prefer dimly lit, grimy hotels for their pursuit of food and entertainment. They ply their nefarious crafts by both day and night and are masters of disguise. Their ability to mask their true colors allows them to befriend unsuspecting victims, usurp their resources and then disappear.

Crocodile Personalities Serve a Purpose

They do serve a useful service to society however, doing jobs that others find too unpleasant. With their talent for disguise, they are excellent private investigators, doing deep undercover work that reputable companies shun.

Because of their ruthless natures, they are also hired by legitimate businesses as bouncers or personal bodyguards. Some enterprising crocodiles go into their own businesses as gang-members, drug dealers, hired killers and second-story men, but all too often find their true calling as common thieves or conmen.

Crocodiles in the Wild

Among the most feared animals in nature, these cold-blooded creatures are masters of their domain. Adults have no natural enemies and will ruthlessly attack all creatures who enter their realm.

They are distinguishable from their close relatives the alligators by the shape of their snouts. The size of a crocodile can vary greatly, sometimes reaching lengths of twenty feet.

To assist in their lives in the water, crocodiles will swallow several pounds of stones to help stabilize their bodies. This technique is useful for younger crocodiles who are naturally top heavy and need the weight of the stones to keep them from capsizing.

Crocodiles are unquestionably man-eaters, but it is arguable just how dangerous they are. It seems that most of the killing is only done by a few individuals, while others prefer their regular diet of deer, rodents, and even young crocodiles. Because of their tendency for cannibalism, juvenile crocodiles are always separated from the adults when basking.

Famous Crocodile Personalities

Osama bin Laden

It takes the guile of a crocodile to formulate a sneak attack on a much larger predator. Bin Laden's legacy will forever be associated with the worst attack on U.S. soil.

Charles Manson

The mind of a crocodile is a murky environment, and those who venture too closely are going to regret it.

Ted Bundy

Sometimes a crocodile looks like an innocent log -- until it jumps up and gets all bitey. Just like serial-killer Ted Bundy who decapitated at least 12 of his victims.

Jeffrey Dahmer

Careers & Hobbies

  • Soldier

  • Undercover cop

  • Bodyguard

  • Bail bondsman

  • Gambling

  • Hunting

  • Fishing

  • Swimming

Best Mates for a Crocodile

Perhaps it is a misnomer to call a crocodile a lover, for there is no tenderness in the way it conducts its sex life. Its mating style is cold-blooded and mechanical, for crocs prefer to devour their conquests whole. Being on the receiving end of such a coupling is a matter of putting up with bruises, bite and scratch marks.

But the crocodile is never lonely. Like its reptilian cousin the snake, it attracts an odd assortment of submissive and masochistic followers willing to cater to its dark desires.

Crocodiles like to keep score of their conquests and in their mission to pile up the points they target the careless and vulnerable.

If a crocodile were to seek a permanent relationship, its best shot would be with the snake personality who identifies with the crocodile's stealthy ways. Possiblities for animalistic water sports also exist with the lonely hippo whose plump frame proves irresistible to the croc's powerful appetites.

Friendship

Mutual interests

Love

Bonnie and Clyde?

Sex

Interesting

Friendship

Partners in crime

Love

Don't eat your young!

Sex

Twisting and turning all night

Friendship

Playmates

Love

An uneasy alliance

Sex

A little roughhousing

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