The Rhino Personality

Portrait of a Rhino Personality

Scientific Name

Diceros bicornis

Collective Term

A crash of rhinos

Brawny and self-assured, these cantankerous beasts allow nothing to stand in their way. Unaccountably mistrustful of strangers, rhino personalities perceive themselves to be gentle and reasonable, but even they acknowledge that their periodic bouts of rage need to be brought under control. O.J. Simpson and Mike Tyson are typical rhinos. Admired by friends for their physical strength and loyalty, their inability to confront their demons inhibits their personal growth and alienates their public. So while rhinos are capable of immense passion, the combination of their insecurity and ardor has the potential to become a steamy romance, a masterful creative expression or a terrible explosion of temper.

The Rhino Personality's Defining Characteristics

With such a cantankerous personality the rhino's unpopularity is hardly surprising, and its bullying reputation is carefully cultivated to ensure the solitude it craves. Rhinos prefer staying close to home and never go looking for trouble, but can prove to be a dangerous creature with an uncontrollable temper. With their formidable bulk and tightly wound natures, even the most aggressive carnivore personalities give them a wide berth. When not engaged in physical activities, they prefer spending quiet time with their families or taking long walks with close friends.

Rhinos are proud of their girth and spend a great deal of time bulking up, either in the gym or grazing happily at their favorite restaurant. They have none of the subtlety or intelligence of their elephant colleagues, but do have a gift for smooth talk. Persuasive when making a point, they spice their conversation with curses and colorful language and have little interest in the finer thing in life. For all their faults, however, they have a uniquely engaging charm and their determination and grit engenders grudging respect from their colleagues.

Rhinos may Surprise You

Surprisingly delicate in bed, rhinos are skillful lovers. Although their tastes lean towards traditional physical pleasures, they occasionally love to express themselves in ways that will startle even the most jaded partner. The rhino yearns for a long-term mate who will put up with its aggressive behavior, but its inability to engage in intimacy makes it hard to find a willing partner. So it is reduced to settling for shallow and trifling relationships, and these inadequate encounters make the rhino even more cynical about relationships -- leading to self-fulfilling prophecies.

Getting to know a rhino can be an exhausting business, for it tends to rely on wordless forms of communication that must then be carefully interpreted. But rhinos will let you know in no uncertain terms when you have crossed the line. They do not suffer fools gladly and often hurt the ones they love.

Rhinos in the Wild

This armor-plated beast is found in Africa and southeast Asia but is a vanishing breed thanks to extermination by man. An unusual characteristic of these aggressive, ponderous animals is their tendency to deposit their dung in communal heaps, forming mounds up to twenty feet across and four feet high.

The rhino's horn is made of tubular fibers secreted from the skin of the nose and cemented together. Highly prized as an aphrodisiac in Asia, these horns can attain massive dimensions —- the record length for a white rhino's horn is more than five feet.

Famous Rhino Personalities

OJ Simpson

Bit, strong, unpredictable, aggressive, and a little loony adds up to a Rhino. This murderous beast killed at least two people (See Mike Tyson).

Mike Tyson

Bit, strong, unpredictable, aggressive, and a little loony adds up to a Rhino. This murderous beast almost killed at least twenty people (See OJ Simpson).

Careers & Hobbies

  • Policeman

  • Soldier

  • Pro-sportsman

  • Actor

  • Golf

  • Gambling

  • Football

  • Boxing

Best Mates for a Rhino

Surprisingly delicate in bed, rhinos are skillful lovers. Although their tastes lean towards traditional physical pleasures, they occasionally love to express themselves in ways that will startles even the most jaded partner.

The rhino yearns for a long-term mate who will put up with its aggressive behavior, but its inability to engage in intimacy makes it hard to find a willing partner. So, it is reduced to settling for shallow and trifling relationships, and these inadequate encounters make the rhino even more cynical about relationships -- leading to self-fulfilling prophecies.

Despite -- or perhaps because of -- their clumsiness, rhinos are attracted to graceful and elegant animal personalities like giraffes, deer, and sables. But, it is better served to seek a mate possessing the confidence to counteract its brusque, self-aggrandizing demeanor. Once a rhino has found its soul mate, it expects to marry for life.

Friendship

Awesome

Love

Enthusiastic

Sex

Alive with flavor

Friendship

Unstoppable together

Love

Never a dull moment

Sex

A feisty twosome

Friendship

Like an old shoe

Love

You can handle each other

Sex

Energetic

Animal Matchmaker

Choose any two animal personalities from the lists below and see how they match up.

Take Another Quiz

A lion, owl and wolf are three potential spirit animals.

What is Your Spirit Animal? It's probably different from your animal personality! Spirit animals (or more accurately, totem animals) have been sought by cultures all over the world for protection, wisdom and guidance. Take this test to find yours.

Take the Test