The Shrew Personality

Portrait of a Shrew Personality

Scientific Name

Sorex araneus

Collective Term

A lament of shrews

The diminutive shrew is the archetypal insectivore. Intelligent, thrifty and self absorbed, it knows how to get what it wants regardless of who stands in its way. Cursed with an overactive metabolism, the shrew is unable to stand still for even a minute. Whether it's picking up the kids, shopping at a garage sale or poking its nose into other people's business, it just keeps going and going. If its outta-my-way attitude provokes resentment from friends, that's just too bad. A shrew's gotta do what a shrew's gotta do.

Shrew Personalities are not Natural Altruists

Sharing does not come naturally to shrews and they are typically the last to pay their portion at a group dinner. It's not that shrews are greedy... it's rather that they're responding to a compulsive need to save for the future. In this respect they are much like their cousin the mouse personality, who take planning for the future to extremes.

With the conviction that it knows what's best for everyone, shrews are always ready with free advice. They seem to delight in butting into other people's private affairs. Sometimes the shrew turns this hobby into a career as a gossip columnist, movie critic, or TV evangelist. But more often than not, it retains its amateur status and practices on its long-suffering friends.

The Shrew in the Workplace

Because shrews are constantly on the move, careers that require concentration and sober thinking are unsuitable. They perform best in chaotic jobs and thrive on the unpredictability of disorder, making them natural production assistants, circus performers, wedding organizers or emergency room technicians.

Their predilection for collecting and organizing things would also make them good librarians or or bookkeepers, while the desire to keep moving makes them suitable for any job requiring travel and creativity.

Keen Senses

Shrews' sharp eyes have a knack for spotting the hole in the fence, and with their ability to make instant decisions they impetuously seize the moment and scuttle on through. Their smart mouths and high energy are put good use in the workplace, and they excel as salespeople and journalists. But sometimes their reputation precedes them and they encounter built-in resistance to their pitch even before they've opened their mouths.

Shrews in the Wild

The smallest of all mammals, shrews are pound for pound among the most belligerent creatures on earth. Also extremely nervous and sensitive, they have been rumored to die from the shock of a loud noise. In reality, they are remarkably resilient and are quite capable of handling the stresses of life near the bottom of the food chain.

Shrews live solitary lives among ground litter or in shallow tunnels. Their high-pitched squeaks suggest that they also use ultrasonics for echolocation, although not to the same degree as bats. Because of their high metabolic rates, shrews are constantly on the hunt for food, although basically insectivorous, they eat seeds, snails, worms, and even carrion. Although domestic cats will kill shrews, they will not eat them, perhaps because of the musk glands in each flank that emit a foul odor.

Famous Shrew Personalities

Leona Helmsley

Not only women can be shrews, but we'd have to say that Leona Helmsley is the mother of all shrews -- mainly because she became famous for publicly yelling at employees and not paying her taxes.

Tammy Faye Bakker

Tammy Faye was an odd bird. Married to felon, Jim Bakker, Tammy helped fleece an entire generation of -mostly older - religious Christians into funding her lavish lifestyle.

Careers & Hobbies

  • Journalist

  • Paramedic

  • Librarian

  • Salesperson

  • Actor

  • Traveling

  • Computing

  • Thrift store shopping

Best Mates for a Shrew

The shrew has an enviable set of bedpost notches, for when it comes to chatting up the opposite sex, they are exceptionally persuasive. They pride themselves on being able to talk anyone into a fling -- especially those torrid encounters of which the shrew is so fond. With no qualms about telling white lies, they have become so adept at these little falsehoods that they're prone to believing in them themselves. With its devilish sense of humor, the shrew will romance you with its witticisms and inspire you with its insights.

There's something about a shrew's sexuality that makes them seem younger than they really are. Perhaps it's their bright eyes, glossy hair, or excess makeup, but more likely it's that high energy level that reminds us of our youth.

A shrew should find a mate that is not threatened by its platonic relationships with its ex-mates. Partners with the tools to handle its bad self are drawn mainly from the insectivore family: porcupines, bats, prairie dogs, and mice, for these animated creatures all appreciate the challenges provided by the shrew's demons of tumult.

Life for a shrew is too brief to waste on failed relationships. The instant its marriage has problems, the shrew quickly files for divorce and moves on.

Friendship

Togetherness

Love

The real thing

Sex

A great sex life

Friendship

You can relax

Love

On cloud nine

Sex

An unjudgmental companion

Friendship

You look cute together

Love

Lovers for life

Sex

Fireworks!

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