The Vulture Personality

Portrait of a Vulture Personality

Scientific Name

Gyps africanus

Collective Term

A coven of vultures

Physically and socially, the vulture is a clumsy creature and its unusual features border on homeliness. Its somewhat bloated body is unusual for a creature of the air, since birds can't afford excess ballast when they're flying around. So vultures are forced to soar at the mercy of the currents and wait for opportunities to present themselves, and unlike the smaller birds are unable to control their own destinies.

Like most birds of prey, vultures love to travel. They particularly favor long trips and are always on the lookout for business opportunities. Even when vacationing with family, a vulture would interrupt the trip if they spied a chance to make money.

The Vulture Personality in the Workplace

Vultures hate to work, preferring to shadow other aggressive characters until opportunities arise. They circle these situations with infinite patience and have an uncanny ability to determine when the moment is ripe. Only when assured of a reward will they swoop in and take control. They can be extremely possessive with their prize and will defend it against all intruders. However, vultures won't risk injury, and they take flight when the situation becomes volatile.

Don't make the mistake of underestimating the vulture though, for it's awkward outward appearance masks an intensely sharp mind capable of long range vision. Most people only encounter the vulture's devious mind when it's feeding at the carcass of their dreams. Nope, the vulture is no angel and those wings on its back have no connection to the divine. For a vulture would look ridiculous wearing a halo while taping her friend's intimate conversations for the special prosecutor.

Vulture Personalities are Crafty

When others observe a vulture circling they can be confident that an opportunity is at hand. Always alert to the opportunity to buy or sell, they make excellent stockbrokers and trade their services for a percentage of the profits. The species also earns a living by buying up ailing businesses and selling off their assets to make a quick buck.

With their excellent vision, vultures are also able to provide far-sighted leadership as business advisers, lawyers or company directors.

Vultures in the Wild

Vultures soar effortlessly for hours on their powerful wings and, using their keen eyesight, can detect carrion from vast distances by watching the behavior of other animals approaching the carcass.

The vulture's neck is practically naked and comes in handy when thrusting its head deep into the steamy carcass of a freshly killed animal, but they are not entirely scavengers and will even hunt small rodents and flamingo chicks.

The Egyptian vulture is one of the few animals that has learned to use tools and is able to smash the tough shells of ostrich eggs by throwing stones at them. It will even make a special trip to find a suitable stone and then sling it repeatedly at the egg with its mouth until it breaks.

Famous Vulture Personalities

Linda Tripp

It's hard to reconcile Linda Tripp's role in the Clinton/Lewinsky affair. She encouraged Monica to confide in her, then essentially turned her "friend" in, destroying both their lives in the process.

Charles Keating

Charles Keating was the flagship vulture in the 1980s. Famous for running Lincoln Savings and Loan into the ground, Keating showed no remorse for ruining the lives of thousands. Even his friend John McCain testified against him, and he was sentenced to over 12 years in prison.

Careers & Hobbies

  • Stockbroker

  • Lawyer

  • Company director

  • Corporate raider

  • Hunting

  • Gambling

  • Making money

  • Gossiping

Best Mates for a Vulture

Vultures are not the most appetizing of creatures; and they know it too. So they make an effort to be as attractive for their lover as possible, and can be quite appealing when they wear their finest clothes and brightest smiles . . . for a while, at least. For even the vulture can't maintain this charade forever and when its true colors emerge, the relationship quickly disintegrates.

So the vulture prefers to maintain its distance and keep its relationships on a superficial level. This further adds to its reputation as a creature that swoops in, takes what it needs, and disappears.

The vulture has a unique definition of allegiance. Its loyalty is only binding for as long as its partner is actively contributing to its well being. A weakness in the relationship is the signal for the vulture to swoop in for the kill. Woe betide the poor soul whose vulture mate hires a weasel divorce lawyer!

Friendship

Happy-go-lucky

Love

A beneficial relationship

Sex

Join the mile-high club

Friendship

Similar temperaments

Love

Not always faithful

Sex

Right up your alley!

Friendship

This is worth fighting for

Love

Some tolerance

Sex

Keep trying!

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