Portrait of a Walrus Personality
  • Large size
  • Methodical
  • Happy-go-lucky
  • Loyal
  • Complacent
  • Lazy

Scientific Name

Odobenus rosmarus

Collective Term

A suet of walrus

Careers & Hobbies

  • Food inspector
  • Store manager
  • Government worker
  • Actor
  • Watching TV
  • Babysitting
  • Dinner parties
  • Playing cards

These apparently benign individuals are usually easy to recognize. When you think of walruses, think of those large people sunning their perfectly rounded bellies at the beach. Or just think of Wilford Brimley. Either way, the walrus is that ruddy uncle at the family reunion who dispenses charm and off-color jokes like donuts.

Ahh, donuts! Walruses have an unrelenting sweet tooth and a weakness for home cooking, and though they might seem comfortable with their roly-poly physiques one shouldn't overdo the teasing. Underneath that thick skin is a surprisingly sensitive spirit. But still, it's difficult to embarrass a walrus. Nothing in life is taken so seriously that it cannot be laughed at. Its infectious love for life contaminates everyone who has unprotected encounters with this hearty beast.

Walruses are not to be trifled with however, and as good-natured as they appear they can be cantankerous and aggressive when slighted. Mostly however, their bark is worse than their bite and their big-hearted natures soon reassert themselves.

Although it is accustomed to large groups of people, the walrus is self-contained and respects the privacy of others. It is happiest when surrounded by the comforts of home and feels little need to travel far afield.

Although walruses perceive work to be a complete waste of time, they are methodical and consistent employees and perform best in jobs demanding reliability and an understanding of the big picture. They function poorly under deadlines and prefer careers that enable them to work at your own pace, particularly as engineers, government workers, food inspectors or managers.

Coo coo ca choo.

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Best Mates for a Walrus

All animal personalities relate to each other differently - some better than others! Here are the three best matches for a Walrus.

Friendship

Bosom buddies

Love

Mates for life

Sex

Wet and noisy!

Friendship

Sea lions and walruses will be friends for life

Love

An enviable marriage

Sex

Like a house on fire

Friendship

Very compatible

Love

Mutual appreciation

Sex

Do it in the bathtub

Choose any two animal personalities from the lists below and see how they match up.

Famous Walrus Personalities

Drew Carey

Round, un-intimidating and funny, Drew Carey's natural walrusness helped make him famous as a comedian and game show-host.

Wilford Brimley

Wilford Brimley made his living playing the walrus character in every one of his movies. His bushy moustach, portly physique and gruff voice added up to

Boris Yeltsin

If you don't remember that Boris Yeltsin was the leader of Russia for a while, it may be because walruses aren't that memorable. They are, however, overweight, boorish and a little lazy.