Genus and species:
A sneak of weasels
Careers and Hobbies
Weasel personalities are closely related to badgers and skunks and are suave and disarmingly charming. With their quick minds and lithe physiques they might appear to be promising companions, but are notorious for the Machiavellian streak that underscores their personalities.
Their behavior is motivated by the fact that they are one of the world's smallest carnivores, and while lions and wolves may be able to afford a direct approach in acquiring resources the smaller personality of the weasel requires more devious tactics. Its survival strategy is based on the manipulation of others and it uses charm as its chief weapon.
Weasels lack the emotional and spiritual maturity found in the larger carnivores. They are masters of chaos and their above average intelligence allows them to think quite well on their feet. Weasels are attracted to unorthodox environments. Their quick minds are able to take advantage of rapidly changing situations and they'll always emerge with more than their fair share of the booty. They share the same ambitious streak as their cousin the beaver, but their distaste for hard work has them behaving more like their skunk relatives who also resort to chicanery.
Weasels will disguise their intelligence if they believe it to be in their best interest. Natural liars, their earnest persuasions make it difficult to discern their true motives. They have no internal moral struggle with their behavior, since they believe that the end justifies the means. Their talent for manipulation makes weasels natural politicians.
Weasels have an uncanny knack of sensing weakness in others and they'll often team up with more successful animal personalities, gaining their trust and then milking them for all they're worth. These relationships are completely one sided. Taking what they need, they soon scuttle off to prey on their next victim. As lawyers, they are the essence of what is wrong with the justice system. Interested only in filling their own pockets, they can be seen on late night TV touting their personal injury services.
Weasels love to be the center of attention and often toy with the idea of becoming professional entertainers. However, their love for the craft is secondary to their love for themselves, so they will probably never make it to the top as performers.