Weasel

The ultimate political fixer turned self-serving informant.

For years, he boasted of his willingness to "take a bullet" for Donald Trump, serving as his personal attorney and self-described "fixer" — threatening journalists, burying scandals, and operating in the shadows with slippery efficiency. The weasel personality thrives precisely in these murky corridors, using cunning and proximity to power as its primary survival tools rather than any genuine loyalty or principle. When the legal walls closed in, Cohen pivoted with breathtaking speed, becoming the star witness against the very man he once called his idol — publishing *Disloyal*, hosting a podcast, and transforming personal betrayal into a brand. Like the weasel, which instinctively abandons one burrow for another the moment danger arrives, Cohen's entire arc reveals a creature of pure self-preservation, masterfully adapting his allegiances to whatever serves his survival in the moment.