Baboon + Hippo

A Trainwreck With Fruit Thrown At It

The baboon lives for chaos, gossip, and social climbing, while the hippo would genuinely prefer everyone just went away. Romantically, this pairing has all the chemistry of a dental appointment — necessary for no one and deeply uncomfortable throughout. The baboon's relentless need for an audience will send the hippo into a slow, territorial rage, and nobody wants to see where that ends. File this one under 'do not attempt.'

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