Badger + Peacock

Beauty and the Beast, Minus the Romance

The peacock struts into the room expecting applause; the badger hands them a bill for the inconvenience. These two can just about tolerate each other at a dinner party, provided the peacock sticks to monologuing and the badger has an exit strategy. Romantically, this pairing makes about as much sense as a tuxedo in a coal mine — one of them is dressed for a gala, the other is there to dig. The bedroom might spark occasionally, but someone's going to wake up annoyed, and it won't be the one admiring themselves in the mirror.

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