Bat + Walrus

Echolocation Won't Help You Find Common Ground

The bat is a creature of the night, darting through social darkness on pure intuition and nervous energy, while the walrus is a slow-moving, blubbery monarch who prefers his pleasures large and his surprises nonexistent. Romantically, this is roughly as promising as it sounds — the bat's erratic wingspan knocks over everything the walrus holds dear, and the walrus's sheer immovable mass suffocates the bat's need to swoop and pivot. In bed, one wants acrobatics, the other wants a nap. They might manage a decent friendship if they agree never to plan anything together, but even that requires a patience the bat simply doesn't have.

Try Another Match