Eagle + Walrus

High Flyer Meets High Calorie Couch King

The eagle soars on thermals of ambition and precision while the walrus perfects the art of magnificent, blubbery inertia — and somehow these two think this is a relationship. As friends, there's an odd fascination, like watching a nature documentary where you're not sure who's the predator and who's just taking a nap. Romantically, the eagle's relentless drive will have the walrus stress-eating within a week, and the walrus's glacial pace will make the eagle want to claw its own eyes out. This pairing works best as a cautionary tale.

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