Porcupine + Rooster

Prickles Meet Preening: Handle With Care

The porcupine's brooding, keep-your-distance vibe and the rooster's need to crow from every available rooftop make for a genuinely entertaining friendship — as long as nobody gets too close. As companions, they can appreciate each other's fierce independence and stubborn self-reliance, occasionally high-fiving over their mutual refusal to suffer fools. Romantically, though, the rooster's theatrical peacocking will eventually grind the porcupine's last nerve into a fine powder, while the porcupine's emotional fortifications will leave the rooster crowing into an empty barnyard. In bed, one wants a standing ovation and the other wants to be left alone — which, when you think about it, is basically the whole relationship.

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