Porcupine + Walrus

Spiky Meets Blubbery: Nature's Worst Blind Date

The porcupine's sharp, solitary defensiveness and the walrus's lumbering, socially dominant bluster make for a pairing that's less romantic chemistry and more mutual irritation. The porcupine wants to be left alone in its carefully maintained personal bubble, while the walrus wants to hold court and be admired — two needs that collide like, well, quills and blubber. Romantically, this is a disaster so complete it's almost impressive. As friends, there's a slim chance of tolerance if the walrus learns the word 'boundaries' and the porcupine learns the word 'relax' — but don't hold your breath.

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