Shrew + Vulture

A Nervous Wreck Meets a Patient Predator

The shrew's mile-a-minute anxiety and the vulture's glacial, calculating patience make for a pairing that's exhausting for both parties — the shrew never stops moving, and the vulture never stops waiting. As friends, they can find an odd rhythm if the shrew does the talking and the vulture does the strategic thinking, but romantically, this is a slow-motion disaster. The vulture's idea of romance is brooding from a great height, while the shrew needs constant reassurance and stimulation — basically the opposite of being circled ominously. In bed, the shrew wants it fast and frantic; the vulture wants to wait until something stops moving. Hard pass.

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