Walrus + Walrus

Two Walruses Walk Into a Bar — Slowly

When two Walruses find each other, the result is either a deeply contented empire of comfort or a spectacular monument to shared inertia — possibly both, built on a sectional sofa. These two understand each other's need for security, loyalty, and a well-stocked fridge with a profundity that borders on telepathic. The danger, of course, is that nobody in this relationship is going to push anyone toward growth, adventure, or getting up before 10am on a Saturday. But honestly? They're fine with that — and their smug, well-fed happiness will quietly infuriate everyone around them.

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