The Weasel Personality

Portrait of a Weasel Personality

Scientific Name

Mustela nivalis

Collective Term

A sneak of weasels

Weasel personalities are closely related to badgers and skunks and are suave and disarmingly charming. With their quick minds and lithe physiques they might appear to be promising companions, but are notorious for the Machiavellian streak that underscores their personalities.

Their behavior is motivated by the fact that they are one of the world's smallest carnivores, and while lions and wolves may be able to afford a direct approach in acquiring resources the smaller personality of the weasel requires more devious tactics. Its survival strategy is based on the manipulation of others and it uses charm as its chief weapon.

Weasels lack the emotional and spiritual maturity found in the larger carnivores. They are masters of chaos and their above average intelligence allows them to think quite well on their feet. Weasels are attracted to unorthodox environments. Their quick minds are able to take advantage of rapidly changing situations and they'll always emerge with more than their fair share of the booty. They share the same ambitious streak as their cousin the beaver, but their distaste for hard work has them behaving more like their skunk relatives who also resort to chicanery.

Weasels will disguise their intelligence if they believe it to be in their best interest. Natural liars, their earnest persuasions make it difficult to discern their true motives. They have no internal moral struggle with their behavior, since they believe that the end justifies the means. Their talent for manipulation makes weasels natural politicians.

Weasels have an uncanny knack of sensing weakness in others and they'll often team up with more successful animal personalities, gaining their trust and then milking them for all they're worth. These relationships are completely one sided. Taking what they need, they soon scuttle off to prey on their next victim. As lawyers, they are the essence of what is wrong with the justice system. Interested only in filling their own pockets, they can be seen on late night TV touting their personal injury services.

Weasels love to be the center of attention and often toy with the idea of becoming professional entertainers. However, their love for the craft is secondary to their love for themselves, so they will probably never make it to the top as performers.

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Famous Weasel Personalities

Mark Fuhrman

Many people believe that Mark Fuhrman was responsible for OJ Simpson getting away with murder. Even though he was a key detective in the case, he lied on the stand when he denied ever using the N-word. Weasels usually put their own interests first.

Manuel Noriega

A typical weasel, Noriega was the leader of Panama until removed from office after a US invasion because he was basically one of the largest drug dealers in the world. He cared little for his own people... and only worried about his own interests. He's still in jail.

Careers & Hobbies

  • Paparazzi

  • Reporter

  • Politician

  • Lawyer

  • Fine clothes

  • Music

  • Adventure films

  • Photography

Best Mates for a Weasel

All animal personalities relate to each other differently - some better than others! Here are the three best matches for a Weasel.


You can relax


On cloud nine


An unjudgmental companion


Mutual interests


Bonnie and Clyde?




You understand each other


An odd couple



Animal Matchmaker

Choose any two animal personalities from the lists below and see how they match up.